So, I’m a little later than I should be with getting my thoughts out on this. But it’s not too bad of a situation, honestly. Yesterday’s habit was “Believe.” And I promise it’s easier said than done. Believing in yourself, especially when it comes to the artist in us all, is one of the hardest things to ever do in life. Our task for Day 2 was as follows:
Take some time to dwell on the fact that you are a writer. Meditate on it; let it sink in. Write about it, if you want. Do whatever it takes. The important part is you believe it.
And just so you don’t think this is all esoteric, you’re going to do something radical tomorrow. You’re going to get up two hours early and write. If you usually get up at seven, get up at five. If five, then three. You get the idea. Don’t check your email or read blogs. Just write.
So… I didn’t make the two hours earlier. I’m a bit under the weather and barely got up in time for work. Thankfully, I work from home and while it’s not detrimental if I’m 5 minutes “late” but it’s not my style. I’m a Virgo. I like routine in some aspects of my life – work being one of them. But all day long, I’ve consciously paid attention to how I spend my time, trying to figure out where I waste it. And while I’m on Facebook a good portion of the day off and on, it’s not surprisingly my biggest time waster. I have realized I have these two big “problems” that I need to overcome. And in overcoming them, I think I’d be able to believe in myself more.
One thing – I get so drained from my job at times I just shut down mentally for a good bit afterward. No matter if I take a break from the computer and come back to it. I’m just blank upstairs. Almost empty really. So, most of the time when I come back to the computer to attempt to work, I’m just blankly staring at the screen – like it’ll read my mind and do everything for me. Now, technology is impressive, but not that impressive yet. Thankfully. I’m not ready for that. But I digress.
My other part is I like to help friends and family. I spend a lot of time talking to friends and family about everything from how’s the weather (for my family and friends back in the USA) to talking through serious personal situations. I help many of them with personal endeavors in whatever ways possible.
But in the process of doing all this and my job, plus being a girlfriend and snajka, I forget to take some “me” time. That’s where Jeff’s “Believe” plays a huge part for me. To believe you have to do…. to do you have to practice – make time. For me to make time to write, it forces me to make time for me. Something I’ve never really been good at. I’m generally the type of person who puts everyone before me no matter the costs to my self.
So this is where I’m with believing. I must not just learn to believe in myself but to take care of myself even more than I try to do with proper diet and such. I must make myself write whenever I can to free my mind and soul of the burdens that I cannot release any other way. My characters are always created from my own experiences, trials, pains, and victories. But for me to grow from those situations of my own life, I must write. I must believe I can write. I must make myself do for me. That is how I must believe in me.
So I might not be able to make the 2 hours earlier, but I’ll keep trying as Jeff says to do. I will make myself write again. I will make time for me again. I have to if I want to be the person I say and know I am and could be.